Top Five Games To Get You Through Your Hangover

You’ve had a good night of partying and trying to score with anything that moves. Maybe you came so close you could taste it, but like every time you go out get some strange; you end up home alone lurking on your ex’s Facebook loathing how happy she is without you. Well, now it’s morning sunshine, and your head feels like a bucket of smashed crabs; so here are five games to help you in your time of need.

5. Flowers

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This isn’t what I’d call a game, which is why it’s at the beginning of my list. However, it’s hard not to see the merit of this title when you feel like a post box. Just enjoy aimlessly flying around the PS3’s tech demo, listening to the calming sounds of nature.

4. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

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While this is a heavy story driven title, the length of the cut scene will give you all the time in the world to sit back and recover. Let the hours of confusing dialogue sooth your pulsating brain yeah, there is quite a bit of gameplay, but remember you’re supposed to be Solid Snake; sneaking extraordinaire. So if you do as you’re told, you should be fine.

3.  Minecraft

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When you’re hungover, you don’t want the stresses of a normal video game. So jump into Minecraft and stroll about this pixelated paradise doing nothing, achieving nothing and completing nothing. Have a chat with some square sheep; build a wall only to knock it down and tunnel to the center of the earth because, you can relate to a scorching fiery core that will erupt at a moments notice.

2. Eve Online

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Now there are some individuals that say Eve Online is an immersive, space age, fun packed, thrilling title; whereas people like me; think it’s a giant, dull, padded waste of bloody time. But, for a hangover, it almost can’t be beaten. Slowing drift through endless space, trying to not vomit in your bin and even if you run into any other players, which is as rare as rockin’ horse shit, who honestly cares? They’ll probably do nothing more than pass you by, and you can go back to bugger all.

1. Final Fantasy 13

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Again, like number five on my list, this isn’t what I’d call a video game in any sense; it’s a film. How do I know this? Because there’s a function that allows the game to play itself which, if you can’t open your eyes because of the shear blinding light of our yellow Sun; isn’t a bad thing. So sit back and catch some shut eye darling. Either that or grab a Bloody Mary.

 

Tom James Hunt

Thomas James Hunt is a British Video Game Critic who is a rather unpleasant character in the journalism world. So brace yourself for some nasty behaviour in the form of articles.

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