Top Five Games To Play Drunk
As a twenty-something, I am no stranger to Man’s best and brightest creation; alcohol. And, as a socially inept, misanthropic recluse I too; am no stranger to the pixelated realms that are housed inside rounded plastic cases. Therefore, here’s a list on the top five games to play drunk.
5. Any Rock Band
Come on? I don’t have to go into this right. Nothing’s better than picking up a plastic mini guitar and rippin’ it up like some magical guitar God. And, if that’s not enough of an ego trip for you, get some of your horribly drunk friends to create a moaning, out of time band! Besides, SingStar is for girls.
4. Any Call Of Duty
I hate COD with a passion, however, we you’ve had a few and the walls seem to talk, get yourself online to partake in team-death matches with children who, somehow, have bought this eighteen rated game. Shout until your voice is hoarse with rage. It’s a treat.
3. Any Mario Kart
Because the real world sucks huge balls and driving while swigging a whiskey is naughty, grab yourself a copy of Mario Kart; I’d say the SNES version as the terrible controls will add to the hilarity. Plus, mix it up by downing your drink every time you’re hit with that cockin’ blue shell.
2. Red Dead Redemption
Cowboys, before the Village People, were the baddest of arse’s. So put on your assless chaps, find an oversized hat and head down to your nearest watering whole. You’ll have tones of fun beating women, starting bar fights and collapsing into the dusty street covered in your own blood, vomit and piss. Don’t forget piss.
1. Max Payne 3
Now, this last one is for the isolated amount us. For those who want to get away from the partying, the fights and the dirty womenfolk. This is for those who wake up in the morning, unable to face the day ahead without some Dutch courage coursing through their veins, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that and in fact, it’s a cheaper life to live. Just remember to sleep on your side so you don’t choke in your own vomit.